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Wick

by C.J. Red Mouth

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1.
There is no learner's permit for the family meal. Table slick with history dribbling down our heels. Sitting here, I wonder when we'll all be dead. I'm not afraid to die, but I fear the things we'll leave unsaid. I feel the bark thickening-- slow, resilient. Moments passing with an ache like a phantom limb. What am I supposed to do? I want to hear the parts of you that breathe when no one's in the room. I feel the bark thickening-- slow, resilient. Moments passing with an ache like a phantom limb. x2
2.
Peeled the veins right off my heart and knit you a red scarf said, "Wear it round your neck at night, I know you hate the cold" I'm reaching out and reaching in, wincing at the raw skin I wish someone had warned me then: "Your blood is meaningless on someone else's neck" For now, I'll lean into the wind Let it riffle through who I have been Let it find me out, call me in Teach me ownership of my skin Basic courtesy to my body, to the red pulsing inside me x2 I'm reaching out, reaching in And I’m fingering the raw skin I wish someone had warned me then: "Your blood is meaningless on someone else's neck"
3.
The ozone’s gone all wooden, kneeling on the birds The timbre of the new year eking out the words Denial’s in the airy walls The sinew, taut on bone Tub-eyed, caught in crevices An iron egg disowned I’ll hold the soap for us, I’ll paint But I cannot do this What was the aphid’s name again? The kitsch of raw belief Denial’s in the airy walls The sinew, taut on bone Tub-eyed, caught in crevices An iron egg disowned I tell you, no need to rot in your seat Light the wick and speak Trim the diary fat Arrange your limbs roughly I told you, no need to rot in your seat Light the wick and speak Light the wick and speak Light the wick and speak Light the wick and speak Light the wick and speak

about

I wrote these songs in March of last year, for a class taught by Buck Meek over Zoom. "Bark Thickening" was inspired by a collage of phrases I took from a loved one's driving permit information sheet, a stray New Yorker magazine, a take-out menu, and more. After ten drafts, this collage became a meditation on the silences between family members. "Light the Wick" was created by reversing the lyrics of "Bark Thickening," turning each word backwards. I spun lyrics from this jumble of letters–first purely phonetic, then drawing words from the sounds, and finally writing poetry from those words. The end result is meant as a reversal of "Bark Thickening": the chaos and uncertainty of communication. Wick charts a path between these two tracks, exploring what it takes to bridge silence and speech. Together, the songs offer an answer, encouraging us to embrace our bodies and needs.

A little over a year ago, I'd planned to release these songs as spare demos thrown together in Reaper. But thanks to several friends and collaborators, the project expanded well beyond my initial imaginings. Our process was very wick-like in that way–by twining our various ideas and abilities, we sparked something bright, something unexpected and warm. I'm forever grateful to everyone who took part / listened / offered feedback and friendship and encouragement. So many dear friends and loved ones believed in this music before I did. Wick would not exist without you all.

credits

released April 16, 2022

All songs written by C.J. Yang

“Bark Thickening” mixed by Shel Kim Rollison
“On someone else’s neck” and “Light the Wick” mixed by June Isenhart
All songs mastered by June Isenhart

“On someone else’s neck” and “Light the Wick” co-engineered by Matt Vuchichevich and Amanda Lozada

Guitar and vocals: C.J. Yang
Drums: Serena Xu
Bass: June Isenhart

Featuring –
Piano in Bark Thickening: Shel Kim Rollison
Slide guitar in Light the Wick: Serena Xu
Cymbal swells in On someone else’s neck: Matt Vuchichevich

“Bark Thickening” and “Light the Wick” produced by C.J. Yang
“On someone else’s neck” co-produced by C.J. Yang, Amanda Lozada, and Matt Vuchichevich

Album art by Jesso Wang

^ All you friends who generously made this EP with me, who pushed me and these songs beyond where I thought we could go, thank you thank you thank you. I can’t thank you enough.

Special thanks to Banti for the love and feedback and mic loans from the very beginning of Wick, to Bummer City for being my musical home, to Club Passim for the continual support and for making this EP possible through the Iguana Music Fund, to Jackson for the encouragement and help and for my little red box, to every single one of you who has ever listened or commented or messaged. It all means the world to me.

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about

C.J. Red Mouth Boston, Massachusetts

Indie folk with occasional screaming

Based in Boston

Banner art by Jesso Wang (frogsfrogs.github.io)

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